Lighten the Hell Up

So, when I started this blog, some crazy woman in me had a goal of writing about some healthy changes I wanted to make in my life. Blogging will help! It will keep me honest! It will help me write more (one of the desired changes)!

Honestly, I am not going to even talk about that insane woman too much because I am the mom of a 3.5 year old and a 4 month old baby. It takes me 4 days to finish a magazine. Crazy Woman forgot that. Then it took me a year to write another post. I add another blog or book to my day and that's it, I have to give up showering. And brushing my teeth. I refuse to do that. For one, those are probably the only things keeping my husband here. I give them up and he's going to be all, "Well, hell, she doesn't even brush her teeth or shower anymore. Might as well chat up that chick in the Starbuck's line who actually wears lip gloss!"

Okay, not really. He's cooler and more loyal than that. But do I need the freak out fantasy while I am covered in baby puke and putting a dress on my daughter's Princess Jasmine doll for the 800th time today. No. I do NOT.

So, yes. I have no time to read. Not at all. And that Happiness Project writer, remember her from three days ago when I started talking? Well, she has a point. She has a very interesting perspective. What I know about her from TV interviews is that she appreciates life and the little things more. And I am cool with that. I realized, though, that my own investigation into my life is not about happiness. I am happy. I appreciate my life.

It's not about Not Sweating the Little Things. It's more like I've been stuck in a lack of lightness. Momentum of Seriousness, if you will. (Will you? Please? Because the baby is napping right now and I'm not sure I'll have time to come up with anything else. Thanks.) I need some funny. Some goofy. Some Not Taking Things so Damn Seriously All the Damn Time.

I may also need capitalizing intervention.

And I am trying to clean up my language. But fuck is so much more impactful than damn. And I would rather say Not Taking Things So Fucking Serious. Dammit. And fuck. I am taking this too seriously, aren't I?

See? THAT is my problem. I have lost all perspective on funny for funny sake. What's a Big Thing and what's just a life thing. What will affect my children forever and make them good people or serial killers. And what will just make them fun to hang around. And me fun to hang around, for that matter.

I used to know. I used to be fun. Goofy. Not so fucking serious all the fucking time. So I am going to make that my goal. I was going to say mission. But mission sounds to serious. So dialing back. Life is messy and serious and drama-filled. I'm okay with feeling down when it's required. And I'm not worried about over-indulging in fake drama. I'm no candidate for Real Housewives of Somewhere. But I do need more goof in my days. I need LEVITY.

Also, writing more would be good. I don't think it's technically a blog if you only do it once a year. (Kind of impressed it's still here, though! Maybe the universe has hope for me, too. Or, you know, that whole nothing-ever-disappears-from-the-internet thing. But I'm going to focus on the positive. Universe has faith in me. Blog still here. I think I will count that as my positive move of the day. Plus, the baby just woke up.)